“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:12
In my journey to rediscover intimacy and grow in my love for God’s children, the Holy Spirit uncovered a disturbing pattern in my life. He brought into my heart all the men I had turned my back on and all the places where I fled the scene of real love and let my fear of human neediness consume me. He reminded me of all the times I thought I was loving others, but in reality, I was just pretending.
Growing up, my dad and older brother always protected and honored me and comforted me by serving as the safe, masculine presence in my life. My relationship with them as a little girl gave me a false perception that a man shouldn’t need anything from me – that I was to be taken care of, loved, cherished, and guarded. And that was how I expected every other man to behave, so when they didn’t respond to life’s situations with self-assurance, quick solutions, and a take charge attitude, I bolted. The problem was that the more I aged and matured out of my parent’s house and into the world, the more I began to notice that most men desired the very things I refused to give into … emotional availability, affection, and nurture. They all had a need for something God had placed in me that I didn’t know how to access and give away.
While I was journaling this moment of breakthrough, the Holy Spirit showed me a picture of the Statue of Liberty, which I instinctively knew was me. I immediately smiled and felt flattered, but then I saw the harsh and corroded exterior and thousands of men at her feet trying to capture her attention. It was the opposite of liberty – she was a slave to herself, cold, and lonely. Inside the statue was a steep stairway covered in cobwebs and dried tears. It was filled with the skeletal memories of those who had dared to climb the steps to her heart. Most unsettling though, was what she thought she was representing was the very thing she lacked the most – feminine strength and intimate love.
My heart was crushed to come to this startling realization, so I asked the Holy Spirit what I was supposed to do about it. He reminded me of Genesis, chapter 2, when all of creation, even man, was created from the ground. I saw Adam rise from the dust and looked at the full glory of God reflected inside of him. It took my breath away. Then the Holy Spirit showed me Adam’s rib, the one taken from his side during a deep sleep. The rib that was removed was the one that covered his beating heart. The Holy Spirit very clearly told me, “You are to protect the heart of man.” And I watched as the rib became Eve and it set my heart on fire. I wasn’t made from the dust, I was created from a very personal, deep place next to the heart of man. And that comes with a beautiful commission and a sweet and fragrant blessing.
I’ve been absolutely wrecked by this revelation of who God made women to be – we were created to guard the hearts of men. What a privilege He’s given us and how wonderful to be tasked as the keeper of another’s heart. I believe this shift in my relationship with my husband and three sons is breaking off generational curses and setting them all free to feel what God designed for them to receive from the women who love them. I’m experiencing a protective nature rising up and hearing a new cry of rejoicing over them in my soul. I physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually stand as a shield of faith in front of them knowing my position as their defender in love. He calls us to be the harbor in the storm, the lighthouse of truth, and the warmth of a holy flame. He showed me that I am to stand by, sit next to, kneel beside, rest peacefully, and hold carefully the precious hearts of the men in my life.
I pray for every woman who sees herself as the anointed and chosen rib of man and comes into agreement with her God-given mission to invade her family, her city, and the world with a love that protects, defends, and honors mankind. I pray for a Heavenly release of intimacy over your life and a new measure of wisdom so that you can love better and deeper. I thank God that I am not alone in this divine endeavor to celebrate the righteous place of men in the heart of the Father and to be one of the women surrounding them with the grace and glory of the love of Jesus Christ.
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